Alone part two

Hey peoples. Today I am writing the Alone part two blog. Here it goes.

So I am starting where I left off. I am still walking up the steep hill with hundreds of other kids in the dark and the rain, the song still playing on my iPod. I finally get to the top at the end of the sidewalk, and at the top edge of the building, in front of where the sidewalk ends, there is a light next to a loudspeaker. The light is bright white in sharp contrast with the soft yellow of the bus headlights, the only other source of light. The rain seems softer now almost slower. I can only see it falling in front of the light and the bus headlights. It patters on my hood and starts to drip slowly near it's point. The light shines down on us and I see the light illuminating our faces below depicting pale and ghostly creatures. To my immediate left is the road and the buses lined up and to the right the main entrance with a teacher to the side of the twin double doors. Past the wall at the end of the sidewalk are a few more buses and another strain of kids pours in from that end like the water flowing steadily at the side of the road. Right before I enter the building the loud speaker booms with some kind of non important message from the principle. My song isn't loud but it seems like this message and my other senses are a little dull and my steps seem slow, the sound of people around me and the speaker a low buzz. This mass of kids slowly squeezes in the two doors, not to close again for another steady fifteen minutes after I get in. Here it is slower and I have to stop and wait often. We enter into a small lobby before another set of doors leading into the school's main hallway. It is like a a big release and we separate the six-graders going right, down the hallway, and me with the seventh and eight graders going the other direction. We pass the gym on our right and some kids go in the cafeteria on the left for breakfast. Here the social clicks and groups become visible. The most prominent, the little tribes of popular kids.

Another right turn for us in order to go down this hallway. At the end is another pair of double doors outside again. It is just a sidewalk going vertical across our path before entering the separate building for seventh and eight grade. I get out and for some reason I stop. I look right just outside and hold the door open. At the time I had never done it before in this particular place. To this day I still don't really know why I did it. The song is long and still playing; I am now much more aware now and the alone feeling steadily faded away when I began entering the building. The rain is slower now and the sky has shifted to a gray despite the sun not being up at all. I am still holding the door for the endless torrent of people and most of the people walking through don't say anything, if they notice me at all. The other small group of people either teased me a bit or thanked me. This is going to sound a bit weird but I don't think that I really cared what any of them said. I took note of the people that did say thank you, still in a haze with the song and that feeling I had earlier, but it felt like it was something I was doing for myself or for no reason at all, not really out of the pure kindness of my heart. As for the people that teased me, I didn't really care, besides this is middle school and you can't let anything get to you. During this it felt a little like everything was in slow motion, the rain, the train of people moving from one building to the next. Some of the people in my head barely even passed through, people I didn't know and had no connections with. Others I knew and had me thinking a little about the long day ahead of me. Finally they are these spare few that set off powerful memories. Some of these people I don't even know and something about them just triggers something inside me. The rest from this group I have powerful memories about spending time with them and these people seem to notice me but say nothing. At last a few little groups of teens dribble out. The song is near its end as I walk down the hallway past the people at their lockers on either side. A teacher on the side barks at me to put my hood down. I arrive to my locker on the bottom at the very end of the hallway and squat to get my things and put my book bag away. With my things in hand I head to homeroom to start the day and think about the time in the dark and the rain when I was completely alone.

I am writing this blog at 9:05 PM in the car on the highway on a long trip back from Pennsylvania. Bye.




By Ashton